labels

A few weeks ago, a ‘friend’ made a passing comment that frankly pissed me off. And, it’ll sound like nothing, and it’ll be hard to articulate here, but it showed what a bitch she can be, and how messed up society has become. It made me wish that I could start time all over again, and send the modern world off in the right direction. (well, I’m sure everyone wishes they could do this, and stop world hunger and what-not, but this specific… don’t get me wrong, stopping world hunger is pretty high up on my list too)

Well, the comment came up in conversation in the midst off the mindless chatter at the end of a lesson. Somehow, we breached the topic of a couple at our school, a lesbian couple, to be precise. My friend then proceeded to say that it was stupid, they couldn’t ‘know’ when they’re that young (we’re 15, just to point that out), as in they couldn’t know if they were gay or not. 

Firstly, the way she said ‘know’. I have no place to even attempt to tell whether both girls are comfortable and certain of their sexuality, but even if they may still be ‘experimenting’, they have been a relatively long term relationship for 15 year olds, and care enough for each other to remain in it. They ‘know’ that they are attracted to and having feelings for that person. Whether this causes them to label themselves as ‘lesbian’, is their own personal decision, that they may have not even made yet, my friend and I have no personal friendship with either party, so have no way of knowing this.

Secondly, I can almost say for certain that my friend knows she is straight, and has not openly questioned her sexuality and it is assumed by her and society, in fact, that she is heterosexual. She’s had crushes on boys, and even the odd relationship, but nothing as serious as the couple here (not that I’m comparing this in anyway, just another point!) So, why is it that she is able to ‘know’, and so many other girls of our age, that she is straight, but feels it ok to question the supposed sexuality of others? Just because their feelings are often considered abnormal and ‘outcast-ed’ by society, doesn’t make them any less sincere that than those that are assumed of us. I could go up to my friend, and question her on the sincerity of her sexuality, on the same grounds that she made her previous statement, but it would  appear almost laughable, whereas the other is almost accepted, made clear by the agreement of our surrounding friends. 

Why is it that, when coming out, people are always told it’s ‘just a phase’, or ‘something they’ll grow out of’. No one has ever told a supposed straight teen that they’ll mature out of they’re heterosexuality, and this ‘straightness’ becomes a point as which everything else is compared. I should have said this to my friend, that how can she ‘know’ about her sexuality, when she is questioning others about theirs? So, how can she even know if she’s straight, maybe it’s just a phase. 

This leads me on to a the wider aspect of this sexuality ‘labeling’. I hate the fact, that as soon as the baby is handed to their parents, it’s as if it has  big block writing across it’s forehead declaring it ‘STRAIGHT’. So, if the child does grow up with the ‘blessing’ of being heterosexual, that label can remain strong, whereas if the child happens to be attracted to the opposite sex, or both, then they face the long hard challenge of scrubbing off this forced label, and writing a new one, separating them, and leaving them constantly compared to the old label they once bore. If only, one was born with a clear forehead, a blank future ready to be personalized. Maybe then, instead of the painful ‘coming out’ process avoided by those who are straight, we can just tell the world when we have our first relationship, when we’re in love, whoever it may be with. Instead we can just label it ‘love’

(wow cheesy ending… >.<)